For introverts, quiet time to recharge is a powerful defense against burnout and overwhelm. “But when you’re a bride, right out of the gate, everything becomes about being around lots of people and creating this beautiful, big day,” says Devon McLeod, a recently engaged holistic psychotherapist who’s an introvert herself.
As she sets out to plan her own wedding, McLeod has been building self-care practices into the process, and she advises like-minded brides to do the same. “You should give equal attention to how you’re feeling as to the beautiful flower arrangements and the flow of the cocktail hour to the reception,” McLeod says. “Because in the end, how you feel—and the energy you bring to your partner or your spouse—is the foundation of the entire day.”
“Introversion is certainly not a deficiency,” clarifies Julia Frodahl, a mindfulness teacher and healer based in Los Angeles. “It’s just a proclivity toward feeling and thinking, and there’s a tendency to process things on a deeper level. For an introverted bride, what matters is meaning, thoughts, and feelings, much more than the outer experience [of the wedding].” To avoid overwhelm on a day that can be full of extroverted emotion, here are a few tactics to keep in mind.
Set the Intention
Morgan Yakus, a modern hypnotist and active meditation teacher, suggests that introverted brides develop a clear vision of the emotional state they want to be in on their wedding day.
“When we tell ourselves we’re going to be tired or drained, the body will listen to that,” Yakus says. “The people that visualize themselves going throughout the day feeling energized, open-hearted, and joyful—even with relatives they might not want to see—will elicit the state that they want to have for that day,” she explains.
Write Down Your Wishes
Paula Mallis, a spiritual counselor and founder of WMN Space in Los Angeles, suggests journaling as a way to support visualization. In the time leading up to her own wedding, Mallis used a writing exercise in which she’d jot down sentences beginning with the phrase “I am gracefully . . .”
“I wrote it out as if it were already manifested,” Mallis says, offering a few examples of sentences she wrote: “I am gracefully experiencing being fully present for my wedding day. I am gracefully fully present with my partner as we share our vows.” Having her intentions in writing prior to the wedding helped Mallis remain in her ideal state on the actual day.
“If I felt like I was starting to drift and get in my head and not be in the present, I’d come back to my intention,” she recalls. “Then, I’d come back to myself, and then be able to move forward.”